I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
