i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
