There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
