spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
