She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
