Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
