It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
