Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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