I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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