evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
