Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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