He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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