i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
