Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."