I wish you could order shots online.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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