My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means