My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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