i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
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sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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