mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize