so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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