And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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