Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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