420 ftw
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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