porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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