well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
PANTIES FOUND
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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