Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
