His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
