im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
is that a dick in a sweater?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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