i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
