i think i have herpe
just one?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
