im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
