On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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