you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
