I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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