I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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