I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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