It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
