At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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