She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
