I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
