Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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