i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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