I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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