We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
