They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
