i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
