My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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