Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can you bring me the toilet please
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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