I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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