I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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