Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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