i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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