yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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