It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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