He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
