Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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