Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
