Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
