i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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