you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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