I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize