True but thats because hes a fetus.
My hand turned me down
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
