well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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